God Bless The Rednecks
by Vengeful
Summary: A suspension will lead to an interesting chain of events, and it all leads to the fall of Ecklie. NS


**A/N: OK, well, I was craving humor, Ecklie bashing, and a whole lot of fluff. And this is the result. My friend has been talking about writing a story with ways to kill Ecklie, so when this idea hit me, I could not let it go. This is probably the fluffiest thing I have written, and I am ashamed to say that it is mine. But hey. when an idea hits, you cant just ignore it. The idea comes from an interesting conversation me and my sister had one night. The song is based on a drama production we did for a holiday skit at school. Sing most of it to the tune of 'Grandma Got Runover By a Reindeer' and the end to the tune of the Brady Bunch song. So, without further ado, the product of my madness! So, Review!**

**--Emily--**

**Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, nor do the tunes of the songs. But the words do. Oh yes they do. And so do the killing ideas in this story!**

* * *

"Grandma got whacked by a hit man

Comin' home from my house Christmas Eve

Now there are those who don't believe in Santa

But as for me and my wallet, we believe

I called Santa up and asked him to do it

And make it look as real as it could be

Don't leave any evidence behind

He said he could for a hefty fee

Well it turns out that he loved my Grandma

He killed her but he brought her back to life

So then they ran away to get married

In Vegas on that very Christmas night

And that's the way they became the Christmas bunch…

The Christmas bunch, the Christmas Bunch…"

"Greg!" Greg's head snapped towards Catherine, who stared at him with a bemused grin etched on her face. "What the hell were you singing?" He smiled innocently.

"My rendition of 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'"

"But it's not Christmas."

"Haven't you heard of Christmas in May?"

"Isn't it Christmas in July?" Warrick asked, catching Greg's comment. He looked at Catherine. "Have you seen Nick?" She shook her head.

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Sara anywhere either." Greg said slowly. Three sets of eyes moved towards the locker room door, where they could just barely make out the sound of muffled giggling. There was silence for a moment.

"So, who wants to go get them?" Catherine asked, looking at Greg.

"No way, I am not going in there." Greg said. Warrick shook his head.

"I have to go, uh, get some results." He said. Catherine glared at the two men.

"Well, someone has to break them up before Ecklie comes and…"

"Before Ecklie comes and what?" Catherine's face paled at the sound of his voice.

"Um, nothing Ecklie." She said, raising her voice, hoping Nick and Sara would hear her. Greg looked at the locker room.

"Yeah, I have to go get something in there." He quickly said. Ecklie looked at him strangely.

"Have any of you seen Sidle?" He asked.

"No one knows." Warrick said, hoping his voice sounded convincing. Ecklie looked at the locker room again and walked towards it.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the locker room, the two missing CSI's were engaged in a rather passionate kiss when they heard Catherine's voice. They quickly broke apart as they tried to fix their undoubtedly disheveled appearances.

"You had to come over." Grumbled Sara as she fastened the buttons of her blouse Nick had managed to unfasten.

"You didn't seem to mind at the time." he replied.

"Well, if Ecklie catches us here, we are both dead." He frowned.

"But its not like we are any rules against us dating. We aren't even on the same shift anymore." She smirked.

"Yeah, but I can think of quite a few rules what we were just doing here broke." She said, leaning over to wipe a smudge of lipstick she had left on his mouth.

And that is what Ecklie found when he stormed into the locker room. It was quite obvious what they had been doing, even to Ecklie.

"Stokes, Sidle, my office NOW." He growled. He looked at Catherine. Go get Grissom and meet us in my office. I am sure he will be oh-so-pleased to know about this." Catherine quickly walked off, with Greg and Warrick hot on her heels. Ecklie turned around, motioning for Nick and Sara to follow him. As soon as he closed the door to his office, he turned to them.

"What the hell were you two thinking?" He yelled. Nick flinched but Sara looked Ecklie in the eye.

"There's no rule against us dating…"

"But there are rules against Making out on the job. Stokes, you are suspended for one week, no pay. Sidle, you have two weeks, no pay." They looked at him, shocked.

"How come I get two weeks?" She asked angrily.

"Because you have broken the rules way too many times. Grissom should have fired you after your DUI. But he refuses too." She glared at him but didn't have a chance to say anything, for Grissom and Catherine barged it.

"What is going on here?" Demanded Grissom.

"I caught these two engaging in inappropriate behavior in the locker room. I have suspended Stokes for one week, and Sidle for two." Grissom looked at the younger CSI's. He had noticed Sara had been happier lately, but he never thought it was because she had started seeing someone.

"Is this true?" He asked. Sara blushed.

"Yes." She mumbled. Nick just smiled sheepishly. Grissom just shook his head.

"Your suspensions start now. I don't want to see either one of you near the lab until your suspensions are lifted." Sara and Nick silently stood up and walked towards the locker room to grab their stuff.

* * *

"This is so unfair!" Exclaimed Sara as they walked to their lockers. He shrugged.

"Yeah, but look on the bright side. We are free for a week. No interruptions from work…" He scowl gave way to a smile.

"Want to grab a bite to eat?" She asked.

"Sure. Why don't you come over."? She laughed.

"Nick, if I come over, I don't think we will be eating anything for quite some time. I need to stop by my apartment anyway. I'll just grab a bite to eat there and then come over in about an hour."

"Sounds good." He said.

Precisely an hour later, his doorbell rang. He quickly opened it and pulled her in for a hungry kiss. She vaguely remembered stumbling down the hall and tumbling onto his bed, leaving a trail of clothing scattered on the floor.

The news came the next morning.

Sara was nestled against Nick when the doorbell rang, waking them from their sleep. Nick climbed out of the bed and tossed Sara a pair of boxers and an old shirt. They pulled on their clothes and went to answer the door. When Nick opened it, Catherine, Warrick, Grissom, and Greg barged it. Catherine shoved a newspaper in their face.

"Ecklie…pickup truck…redneck…dead." Catherine gasped. Nick and Sara looked at each other, confused.

"Huh?" Said Sara.

"Ecklie is dead!" Exclaimed Warrick.

"WHAT?" Screamed Nick.

"What happened?" Sara asked, smiling.

"Well… Catherine, why don't you tell the story."? Grissom said. She sighed.

"He got run over by a pickup truck. It was driven by a drunk redneck. He had just won the national tractor-driving contest. He was going to Sheep College. He had a lot of shiny belt buckles. His name was Keith but everyone calls him farmer Joe." Nick and Sara just stared at him. A smile spread across Nicks face.

"God Bless the rednecks."

"So now, Sophia has been promoted. She is putting us back together." Catherine said.

"Oh, and your suspensions are lifted. Just try to make out in the locker room." Grissom said. Greg grinned.

"I think this calls for a song."

"Oh god…"

"Ecklie got run over by a redneck…"

* * *

**A/N: Well, I really hope you liked this one. It was fun to write. It is seriously somewhat of an inside joke, but hopefully it made some sense. Just remember to review!**

**--Emily--**


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